Thursday, May 17, 2012

I will rest in you

This takes place when Tanna was very sick and we were living together upstairs... I don't know if you remember how I felt seeing Tanna go through what you did. I think I had constant tears that I was holding back. I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking she might not be alive- so I would have to go check to see if she was still breathing. I was so terrified that one day
I would find her on the floor... gone. 
One day I was home alone... Dad was at work and Mom and Tanna were at the doctor and I was sitting on my bed, tears pouring down my face... I was extremely angry! Anger at everyone, the doctors for not fixing you, and the most awful part is I was so mad at Heavenly Father. WHY, why would he do this to Tanna? I remember just yelling and pleading with him not to take her. I was so angry. I finally calmed down and I felt like everything in life was dark. I felt like there was no way I could go another day seeing Tanna suffer (I am guessing you both felt feelings ten times worse). I opened my scriptures and read the first scripture that I saw.....

3 Nephi 27: 28-29
 28And now I ago unto the Father. And verily I say unto you, whatsoever things ye shall ask the Father in my name shall be given unto you.

 29Therefore, aask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for he that asketh, receiveth; and unto him that knocketh, it shall be opened.

I dropped to my knees and first asked him to forgive me for being so fearful and full of doubt. And to forgive me for being angry at him. Then I asked Heavenly Father if he would heal Tanna and let her live....

After my prayer I started to play church music and I came to this song....

While listening to this song I knew Tanna was going to be okay.... I didn't know how but I finally felt rest... I finally felt peace. Now every time I think of this or hear this song I think of Tanna and I think of our Heavenly Father that is so merciful and answers even the most doubtful persons prayers. 

Christmas time has become a very special time of year me. December 24th marks the day of one of my favorite and most memorible days.... When Dad and I brought Tanna home from the hospital in Utah. Again my Heavenly Father answered my prayers and prayers of everyone. What a feeling it was to see Tanna walk in Garrett's house. Tanna was healed and for the rest of my life I have no right to complain about anything..... I obviously am not doing very good at the no complaining which makes me even more grateful for the Atonement and my Savior! I love you- Tonight I am going to think of my Savior and remember the blessing he has blessed me with- maybe you both could write down what you are most grateful for... if you want! I have a testimony that prayers are heard and I love knowing that we have a God of MIRACLES. I love you both.


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