Thursday, May 31, 2012

God will lift us up

I have so many thoughts about this video that I don't even know where to start. Trials are not here to make us feel like we are abandoned or to make us feel alone, or even make us feel like Heavenly Father has forgotten us. I am learning that still. In EVERY situation in our lives... no matter how impossible they seem or how long the night may seem there is always a morning. Always!  Trials are for us to see IF we will exercise our agency to follow our Savior- even through the most hard unbearable times. After watching this I immediately asked myself... What are you going to choose to do when these times happen?  Will I freely choose to follow my Savior? I love what the girl says... " I know that they will lift me up." I believe that... I know it.

I love both of you

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Missionary Work and the Atonement

This is only the ending of his talk but I absolutely love what Elder Holland says...

Missionary Work and the Atonement

Jeffrey R. Holland

   Atonement and the Missionary

Almost everything I have said here has been an aid directed toward the missionary process, ultimately toward the investigator. May I close with an extended testimony about how focusing on the Atonement helps full-time and member missionaries and mission leaders.
Anyone who does any kind of missionary work will have occasion to ask, Why is this so hard? Why doesn’t it go better? Why can’t our success be more rapid? Why aren’t there more people joining the Church? It is the truth. We believe in angels. We trust in miracles. Why don’t people just flock to the font? Why isn’t the only risk in missionary work that of pneumonia from being soaking wet all day and all night in the baptismal font?
You will have occasion to ask those questions. I have thought about this a great deal. I offer this as my personal feeling. I am convinced that missionary work is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience.Salvation never was easy. We are The Church of Jesus Christ, this is the truth, and He is our Great Eternal Head. How could we believe it would be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him? It seems to me that missionaries and mission leaders have to spend at least a few moments in Gethsemane. Missionaries and mission leaders have to take at least a step or two toward the summit of Calvary.
Now, please don’t misunderstand. I’m not talking about anything anywhere near what Christ experienced. That would be presumptuous and sacrilegious. But I believe that missionaries and investigators, to come to the truth, to come to salvation, to know something of this price that has been paid, will have to pay a token of that same price.
For that reason I don’t believe missionary work has ever been easy, nor that conversion is, nor that retention is, nor that continued faithfulness is. I believe it is supposed to require some effort, something from the depths of our soul.
If He could come forward in the night, kneel down, fall on His face, bleed from every pore, and cry, “Abba, Father (Papa), if this cup can pass, let it pass,” 16 then little wonder that salvation is not a whimsical or easy thing for us. If you wonder if there isn’t an easier way, you should remember you are not the first one to ask that. Someone a lot greater and a lot grander asked a long time ago if there wasn’t an easier way.
The Atonement will carry the missionaries perhaps even more importantly than it will carry the investigators. When you struggle, when you are rejected, when you are spit upon and cast out and made a hiss and a byword, you are standing with the best life this world has ever known, the only pure and perfect life ever lived. You have reason to stand tall and be grateful that the Living Son of the Living God knows all about your sorrows and afflictions. The only way to salvation is through Gethsemane and on to Calvary. The only way to eternity is through Him—the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
I testify that the living God is our Eternal Father and that Jesus Christ is His living and Only Begotten Son in the flesh. I testify that this Jesus, who was slain and hanged on a tree, 17 was the chief Apostle then and is the chief Apostle now, the Great High Priest, the chief cornerstone of His Church in this last and greatest of all dispensations. I testify that He lives, that the whole triumph of the gospel is that He lives, and because He does, so will we.
On that first Resurrection Sunday, Mary Magdalene first thought she saw a gardener. Well, she did—the Gardener who cultivated Eden and who endured Gethsemane. The Gardener who gave us the rose of Sharon, the lily of the valley, the cedars of Lebanon, the tree of life.
I declare Him to be the Savior of the world, the Bishop and Shepherd of our souls, the Bright and Morning Star. I know that our garments can be washed white only in the blood of that Lamb, slain from the foundation of the world. I know that we are lifted up unto life because He was lifted up unto death, that He bore our griefs and carried our sorrows, and with His stripes we are healed. I bear witness that He was wounded for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities, that He was a man of sorrows acquainted with grief because upon Him were laid the transgressions of us all. 18
I bear witness that He came from God as a God to bind up the brokenhearted, to dry the tears from every eye, to proclaim liberty to the captive and open the prison doors to them that are bound. 19 I promise that because of your faithful response to the call to spread the gospel, He will bind up your broken hearts, dry your tears, and set you and your families free. That is my missionary promise to you and your missionary message to the world.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Until we meet again

Happy Memorial Day!
This is the day where we all remember those who have passed... those who gave their lives... those we love so much. Let us be so thankful for the gift of knowledge that we have...that we know we will see them again. I love you both!!!

Sunday, May 27, 2012

President Monson quotes

“Choose your love. Love your choice.”

“The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.” 

“Remember who you are and what God expects you to become.”

“Stick to a task 'til it sticks to you. . .for beginners are many, but finishers few.” 

“Don't save something for a special occasion. Every day of your life is a special occasion.”

“May I share with you a formula that in my judgment will help you and help me to journey well through mortality... First, fill your mind with truth; second, fill your life with service; and third, fill your heart with love.” 

“Never let a problem to be solved, become more important than a person to be loved.” 

“One day each of us will run out of tomorrows. Let us not put off what is important.” 

“He who gives money gives some, he who gives time gives more, and he who gives of himself gives all.” 

“When faith replaces doubt, when selfless service eliminates selfish striving, the power of God brings to pass His purposes.” 

“Work will work when wishy washy wishing won't.”

“Find joy in the journey.” 

“Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.” 

“Whatever our calling, regardless of our fears or anxieties, let us pray and then go and do.” 

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Jaclyn's Mission

This was Jaclyn's homecoming talk I thought you both would love to remember how she felt and her amazing experience. I bet you are feeling so many similarities now!

Canada was incredible.  I will start with that.  Serving a mission has meant everything to me, especially in regards to my relationship with Heavenly Father and The Savior. 

My whole mission I served in the Young Single Adult program and with single sisters.  What a blessing it was to be able to learn the gospel to prepare for people I could relate to.  Teaching girls who they are, how knowing Christ can help them be confident in themselves and how to be a woman that God trusted.  It is amazing to see girls realize, change, and move upward.  Jacki Rach is probably the best example of that.  Jacki was born with fetal alcohol syndrome.  She was given alcohol as a baby, and continued on to hard core drugs and alcohol abuse.  There was point in her life when she was pregnant, on the streets, and completely oblivious to reality.  She was introduced to us by her best friends who had just been baptized.  I am all about member referrals so when we asked these guys which of their friends needed the gospel most at that time, they both laughed and said, “Jacki! But you’ll never be able to do anything with her.”  We began teaching Jacki.  She would meet us at the church with a cigarette in her mouth, blasting Metallica, and we just knew that the gospel was what she needed.  She had a really hard time coming into the chapel during sacrament because of social anxiety, but the gospel began to change her.  Because of the design of Preach My Gospel we began to cater the lessons to help her visualize what she could be, or rather, who she really was.  One lesson we had taken pictures of her as a child and played I am a Child of God and talked to her about the Atonement and how it helps us realize that connection we have to a Father who is constant, loving, and completely devoted.  These were things she had never experienced.  Jacki was baptized on the 27th of October and is still active.  She has introduced her whole family to the gospel and we had the opportunity to teach her mother in the last area I served.  IT WAS FANTASTIC!!!

Stories like this happened frequently in hopes to help these women understand the love Heavenly Father had for them.  What I came home with was just that.  I had always known that Heavenly Father loved me, but when serving Him as a full-time representative I realized how He loves everyone.  That was the key to the success I had on my mission.  LOVE.  Loving everyone.

My last area I served was a little different.  My president decided to have sisters serve in family wards and I was placed for my last four weeks with a member to serve with in a tiny area.  10 minutes top to bottom and really wondering who on earth we could find in so little time and so little space.  Knowing Heavenly Father has plenty for me to do I went to Him and said, “Please help me be where they are.”  We began finding like crazy.  Everyday a new investigator.  It was amazing.  One day it snowed pretty hard so we decided to get some shovels and go find.  Six sisters would pile out of their cars and run to help everyone we saw.  It was probably quite the scene.  One house in particular I will never forget.  Lou Therrien.  We knocked on his door; asked if we could shovel, “Swell!”  he says.  We finished and he agreed to have us back later that night.  He began to investigate the church.  This 87 year old, Roman Catholic, began to read the Book of Mormon.  I completely fell in love with him.  He was darling.  He reminded me so much of my own Dad and so being with him was fabulous.  We’d teach and then he’d tell us stories.  The reason I had him in my life was because his stories helped me see the relationship I had with the Savior.  How he knew what to say was because he is very sensitive to the spirit.  One story in particular is one that has really helped me understand the relationship I cultivated Christ.  Lou was the Regional rep of Kirby vacuums. “Selling Kirby’s is an art girl.  It takes skill, dedication, and hard work.”  Lou Therrien would travel all across Canada in hopes to find the most “worthy” of sellers for his company.  He would have recruiting meetings where he would pitch the most attractive terms known to man.  Boy could he pitch.  By the end of his presentation he would have every man lined up out the door with the desire to sell or him.  20 men from each presentation are chosen.  Lou would have his top sellers pick and then those men would be called in to begin training.  They would start the training process and by the end of the week they were out in the field.  Top sellers would teach and even Lou himself was a huge part of the training.  He had to be.  He was the best.  One fellow was chosen for training.  Robert Chassen.  He was cross-eyed, pigeon-toed, and stuttered like most of the cars in Winnipeg do during the winter.  How on earth was this man supposed to sell?  “He’ll never make it!”  Lou remarked as Robert struggled through training.  The week ended and the men were to the field.  They would return with 4 sells, 5 sells, and the top dogs would come home with nearly ten.  Robert came back with nothing.  “Well, Robert I am sorry, but we can’t employ you.  You’ll have to leave.”  “Please Mr. Therrien!  One more week?  I promise I can do it!  I know I can!”  “Alright, one more week, but that’s it!”  Robert trained with the next recruiting group only to return from training with no sells.  “Bob, I can’t pay you if you aren’t making any money.  You’ll have to go.”  “Please Mr. Therrien!!  I have to have this job.  I know its what I am supposed to do.”  Lou looked at his calendar.  “Training ends Bob.  No recruits come in next week.  They are all in the field selling.”  “You could teach me.  I’d be willing to learn from you.”  Lou looked at a pathetic Bob and back at his calendar.  “Bob I will train you.  Side by side we’ll do this work, but you have got to listen to me.  You do exactly what I say, you follow me exactly.  I will teach you how to be a master seller, but you must follow the master exactly.”  The most extensive training began.  “Don’t stutter.  Walk straight.  Look them in eye.”  They seemed like such small things.  Robert was Robert!  He can’t change who he is.  He has been that way too long, but it didn’t matter, rules were rules and he had to follow if he was to stay.  Lou would return home exhausted.  Bob even more so and yet they pushed.  Training completed and Lou sent Bob to the field.  He returned with 4, 5, 4, 5.  “Something told me he could do it.  I never thought it would happen, but he did it.”  Robert became Kirby Vacuum’s top seller and when Lou retired he sold to Bob. 

This was my mission!!!  I went to the MTC to train to be a missionary.  So many times I felt like I was so unprepared to serve.  I would say to myself, “This maybe isn’t for me?”  But I just stayed in hopes that the Lord could do something with this very unprepared daughter of His.  I would go to class and open my scriptures and nothing would happen.  Nothing was clicking.  I knew the stories, I knew the drill, but was I really going to be able to be an instrument for Christ?  One night I prayed and just begged Heavenly Father to just teach me.  “Please Father, I will do everything you ask me to do.”  And so it began.  My willing heart was ready.  That was the key.  I began to learn by the Spirit, side by side with the Savior, a place that, for me, will forever be the most comfortable, the most fulfilling, and the happiest.  The people of Nephi dwelt in the manner of happiness because of this willingness to do exactly what the Father required of them. I began to live the mission standards.  Weird rules seemed so insignificant.  No gum in public, in the apartment at nine, up at 6:30, 30 minutes of exercise, but you do it.  You do it because that’s the only way the Lord will help you find. They are already prepared,  I had to be prepared for them.  Canada is fabulous.  I love it so much.  It may be freezing in the winter, but the people are warm and if I was to find those wonderful people I had to obey. I understood that.  The Spirit taught and I understood.  So I obeyed.  Sometimes I’d be late, but I’d repent.  It seemed so little, but the Lord promised “that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.”  So many times there were situations in which my obedience was tested.  I always found the most reward in obedience.  The greatest reward in being my relationship with the Savior was growing and strengthening.  I began to understand what it meant to have a Redeemer.  Redeem means to convert into something of value.  Unwillingness isn’t of any value to the Lord and I knew that.    How?  Because I would read, I’d pray, and I’d work.  That was the only way I could gain this relationship that my spirit so desperately desired.  I’d study my scriptures everyday.  I would drink in everything.  Ezra Taft Benson has taught the power of the Book of Mormon that I have felt…
The Book of Mormon brings men to Christ through two basic means. First, it tells in a plain manner of Christ and His gospel. It testifies of His divinity and of the necessity for a Redeemer and the need of our putting trust in Him. It bears witness of the Fall and the Atonement and the first principles of the gospel, including our need of a broken heart and a contrite spirit and a spiritual rebirth. It proclaims we must endure to the end in righteousness and live the moral life of a Saint.  Second, the Book of Mormon exposes the enemies of Christ. It confounds false doctrines and lays down contention. (See 2 Ne. 3:12.) It fortifies the humble followers of Christ against the evil designs, strategies, and doctrines of the devil in our day. The type of apostates in the Book of Mormon are similar to the type we have today. God, with his infinite foreknowledge, so molded the Book of Mormon that we might see the error and know how to combat false educational, political, religious, and philosophical concepts of our time.”  And might I add the new trends that seem to be sweeping the world like a plague.  Man has began to search for a relationship with that which is carnal to satisfy a part of them that really is only natural to mortals.  We were first spirits. 

This is real life and I learned that.  My favorite scripture in Helaman illustrates how obedience will bring us to celestial progression.  “Yea we see that whosoever will may lay hold upon the word of God, which is quick and powerful, which shall divide asunder all the cunning and the snares and the wiles of the devil, and lead the man of Christ in a strait and narrow course across that everlasting gulf of misery…and land their souls…at the right hand of God…to go no more out.”  That is the promise that God has given us.  As we “lay hold” we “become” a man of Christ and can make it back home.  That is what we teach!!  It’s not about how many “Mormons” we can get in the world.  It’s not about tithing; it’s not about pointing out everyone’s faults, weaknesses, and shortcomings.  It is about teaching a covenanted people who they are, that they are to be obedient if they are to return to the presence of a Father they do know and love.  Mortality is the time for us to search for that kind of happiness.  I conclude with my testimony of the Savior and His infinite goodness.  The Lord reveals to the apostle Paul, and also through His prophet Joseph Smith the formula for all to become master teachers, or better the art of becoming.  “Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence.”  Godliness is Obedience.  My favorite attribute of Christ is His remarkable obedience.  Let me lay aside the things I want, I feel I need, and give my life for what matters most to my Father.  That’s what we are here for.  The entire life of the Savior was His desire for us to know God like He does.  So what He did was He exemplified obedience.  The only way for anyone to every “know” Christ is to be like Him.  We may never understand everything the Lord asks us to do.  We may battle with our “natural man” frequently during our mortal probation, but we can be confident that with His help we can endure patiently until we become master.  Until we become, “joint- heirs with Christ; if it so be that we suffer with Him.”  I know that through our obedience we can be exalted.  It is so simple and my mission has taught me that.  It has taught me that obedience is the only way we can “love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”  I promise that our obedience to Father will help us love ourselves and then we get to love everyone else.  This is what this life is about.  Becoming master sellers so that we can sell what we’ve learned.  I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth by Christ, Himself, through a humble servant, Joseph Smith who was willing to be an instrument.  I know that through this restoration gospel truths that are taught all over the world in many different denominations by the power of the Holy Ghost can now be lived fully in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I know that these truths are found in the Book of Mormon.  I love the Book of Mormon.  I know that the Lord is still revealing simple truths to man through the prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley, so that we can become greater.  I know that as we live the gospel we can be together with our families forever.  The greatest happiness in your families will come as you obey the gospel.  My greatest happiness has come from that and I say these things in the name of the Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.  

Friday, May 25, 2012

If You Could Hie To Kolob

Just Listen today while getting ready or while writing or just listen!
I love you both!


Thursday, May 24, 2012


I have made a promise to myself to be a little kinder from now on.
I love you both very much!


Wednesday, May 23, 2012


I can't honestly say that I understand... but through the Atonement of Jesus Christ all things are possible.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Flecks of Gold

After watching this I felt like I needed to say DON'T GET DISCOURAGED! I am not sure why... Maybe it's something I need to learn or maybe it's just something we all need to hear. Sometimes I find that people and mostly me are just looking for the "big nuggets" like a problem to be solved now, relief from sadness or pain now, questions that I want answered now, like... why did that happen? or what was the purpose of that?, Or the feelings of frustration that I need to have fixed now. Life I have found are many disappointments and sadness. Like the death of someone, no money, having your heart set on something to have it ruined, to give your all and have it thrown back in your face, or to think you may have helped someone to have them turn around and do something that felt like you didn't even help them at all. But life also has it's FLECKS OF GOLD! We all are waiting for the big nuggets... when there are so many little flecks all around us.... (if that makes sense). I feel like Heavenly Father gave us these flecks to help us grow and remember he is ever near and our feelings or questions will be answered in time. I feel like when disappointment sets in and we wonder why or feel at a loss that's the time to pull out the flecks we have collected over the years. Like our testimonies, little or big miracles, the scriptures, words of our prophets, the piercing feelings that we have felt from the Spirit, friends that will never give up on us no matter our mistakes, prayers to our Father in Heaven who loves us even if we fall away, The Savior who died for us so we can make things right...etc. When discouraged that is when we continue, walk on, or to just be a good example and still love and care instead of give up. Because from all these "flecks" comes much "wealth" or much needed "strength" in my eyes! Hard times do come (as you both well know)... and I have felt and seen it lately through so many people... So as cheesy as it sounds we have to recognize the precious truths that are scattered all around us ready to renew strength or just left us up when when we are down...

Monday, May 21, 2012


                                      (This picture was taken the day before he went into the ER)

July 6, 2010
            Today I am feeling so grateful for my many blessing. But especially the blessing of my family. Last night we had a very big scare with our baby Cash. My husband was lying on the floor with him and all of a sudden he asked me if Cash has always had a rash… I came over to Cash to look and almost instantly Cash’s whole body head to toe turned a deep red color and had big puffy white bumps! I thought he was having an allergic reaction to something. His whole face swelled up and his lips got 2x there normal size. I put him in the bath to see if it would calm down but it got worse so my husband and I rushed him the emergency room. When we got there the nurses rushed him into a room and Cash turned very pale and started to vomit. The Doctor got very nervous and Cash had to get every test imaginable… He had 3 needles in one arm, an IV in the other, a catheter, and they had to check his temperature inside of him, so you could guess where that went, and the worse one is he had to have a spinal tap. At first I was a complete wreck because Cash’s arm was so swollen they could not find a vein so they had to dig around with the needle and he was just screaming in pain. Thank heavens my husband was there... he held Cash and I had to leave the room. The nurse followed me and I just bawled I couldn't stop. I finally had to pull myself together and went back in and just kept saying, “Cash look at Mama, look at me, its ok!” Which he finally did calm down a little and they got the IV in. The doctor came in a little later to take Cash to get his spinal tap done. The doctor said she was going to take him into another room because this was something no parent should ever watch their child go through! I have never prayed so hard in my life. The Doctor stepped out for a second and Monkey gave Cash a blessing that he would be okay through the procedure. The doctor came and took him and after what felt like forever they brought him back… He was so tired and his face was so swollen… I fed him and after he just smiled up at me. I don’t know how this possible but he started to laugh! What a strong baby! I am so grateful that Monkey gave him that blessing and that our Heavenly Father was with Cash. The rest of the night we waited for test results… and the doctor finally came in and told us his white blood cell count was 21000 and normal is 15000 or so… it was way high. She said because of this they believed he has a virus that his body is trying so hard to get out of his system. She assured me that he was going to be fine but it would take a couple more days to have him all the way better. They decided to keep him over night, which I am so glad about because when we got to our hospital room the nurses checked his breathing and he wasn’t getting enough oxygen. They put the oxygen tube up his nose and let him sleep the rest of the night while being closely watched. All night I just kept watching him and the machine. They next morning the doctor came to check on him and he was doing awesome. They discharged him a little after and we got to go home. One thing I will never forget the Doctor saying is,” it was a good thing you brought him in, cause who knows what would have happened.” I can’t really get that out of my mind, I don’t really want to know what would have happened I am just so overwhelmingly grateful that we still have our sweet Cash! He is such a blessing in our lives…He has taught us what is most important in life... Family. Cash has taught us that spending time with each other is what is matters most, because who knows what tomorrow brings. I was thinking of how sometimes I get mad at Belle or Monkey about little things and how worthless it is to even get mad, because maybe they won’t be here tomorrow. I have learned to be patient through trials (I am not perfect by any means) and I know that my Heavenly Father is going to be with me every step of the way. I have learned to love each moment I spend with my children, my husband, my family, my friends, everyone! I am so grateful I really wish I could share half of what is in my heart. It is so full gratitude. I am grateful that prayers are answered! I am so grateful and feel so humbled that Cash and Belle are in my life and that we have a Heavenly Father that is full aware of us, I believe that with all my heart! Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. Thank you Mom and Dad for dropping everything to watch Belle while we were at the hospital I can’t explain how appreciative I am for both of you, and thank you Tanna for taking Belle to get ice cream today when I couldn’t bring Cash out!!! She felt so special and was so excited! I think I have a new motto that I am going to live by for the rest of my life… “NEVER WASTE A MOMENT WHEN YOU COULD BE SPENDING IT WITH THOSE YOU LOVE.”
I Love you Cash!

July 7, 2010
            Today I have been thinking a lot about what is going to happen in our families’ future. Wondering how in the world we are going to pay for Cash’s medical bills. I really could care less about how much the bill is going to be because no price is too much for our little Cash’s life. But it was a concern because we don’t have much money. I have had a prayer in my heart all day that Monkey could just sell a lot so we would not have to go into debt too much more because in a month Monkey will be starting Optometry school and we will have to take out at least 45 grand a year. So I have been worried but so overwhelmingly grateful that our sweet Cash is with us still. I decided to study scriptures after Belle and Cash went to bed and I started reading in Doctrine and Covenants 104: 78-80
78 And again, verily I say unto you, concerning your debts—behold it is my will that you shall apay all your bdebts.
  79 And it is my will that you shall ahumble yourselves before me, and obtain this blessing by your bdiligence and humility and the prayer of faith.
  80 And inasmuch as you are diligent and humble, and exercise the aprayer of faith, behold, I will soften the hearts of those to whom you are in debt, until I shall send means unto you for your bdeliverance.

What an incredible answer to my prayer. I almost died when I read this scripture. I was just reading my next chapter for the day and here was my Heavenly Father speaking right to me. I felt overwhelmed with comfort and peace. I really wanted to know how to be humble… I started to study what being humble meant…
-not proud or arrogant; modest
-Humbling - causing awareness of your shortcomings
-having a feeling of insignificance
-courteously respectful
- The feeling of awe

How do I explain how I feel? How can I express the love I have felt from my Heavenly Father? How can I show how grateful and completely overwhelmed I am that he took the time to take care of Cash and on top of that he answered my prayer through the scriptures and made me feel complete peace? How do I act when I have been so blessed? I am at awe! I am at awe of the millions of blessing he has blessed me with. I know I can’t do this only, I need him every hour. I don’t know how humble I am, but I am going to try my absolute hardest and more to become such. I do know one thing I will never stop praying! I will never stop thanking Heavenly Father for my family. And as crazy as this sounds I will always thank him for my trials, because each one I overcome with him I know I have become stronger.

July 8, 2010
            The doctor called last night and asked if Cash had a temperature…. He had a 100.5 temp so she told me to hurry and bring Cash back to the ER…I was like what in the world is going on!? Dr. King said that Cash tested positive for Strep B. I had no idea what that was, all I knew is they gave me medicine for it before Cash was delivered… because I tested positive for it and if babies get it they get really sick and even die. So of course I FREAKED! I got Cash to the ER and they hooked him up to another IV (I hate that) and gave him medicine to wipe out the bacteria in his body causing Strep B. They did more blood work. While we were waiting for the result the doctor explained how lucky it was that she swabbed Cash’s throat the first time we were there, because normally they don’t because babies don’t develop Strep B after birth. She explained how she didn’t know how Cash ended up with these bacteria, but it was a good thing she caught it because the bacteria was only in his throat. If the bacteria would have spread and got into his blood Cash would have gotten very sick and would most likely pass away. My heart dropped! I have never been more grateful that Cash got his weird virus because if he wouldn’t have gotten that virus I would have never even known he was sick until it was too late! What another amazing miracle! I can’t thank my Heavenly Father enough. Cash must be a pretty special boy! I am so out of my mind grateful!
 Oh if anyone is wondering how Belle is doing she is getting kicked out of the nursery! Hahaha not really but I do have to go in the nursery every Sunday to make sure she doesn’t hurt all the other kids. I got a phone call yesterday and basically Belle scratched a little girl so bad in the eye and made her bleed…. and no one really knew what happened so the other little girls mom wasn’t too happy! So I got a call that I probably needed to call and apologize for Belle and stay in nursery with her for a couple of weeks! Hahah oh Life!!!!!! I decided it is a crazy thing! I am just happy I am getting through it!!

May 20, 2012
       So we all know how this story ends... a week or so later Cash was doing fine and getting healthy. We got letters in the mail saying our bills of thousands of dollars came down to only a couple hundred. How are Heavenly Father loves each one of his children. Thank you both for going through this trial with me and being there every moment! I love you both so much! 

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Quotes from Gordon B. Hinckley

“Life is to be enjoyed, not endured” 

“Try a little harder to be a little better.” 

“True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one's companion.” 

“If Life Gets Too Hard To Stand, Kneel.”

“Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others...By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.” 

“You have not failed until you quit trying.” 

 “It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers.” 

“Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight.” 

“Let us never forget to pray. God lives. He is near. He is real. He is not only aware of us but cares for us. He is our Father. He is accessible to all who will seek Him.” 

“Cultivate an attitude of happiness. Cultivate a spirit of optimism. Walk with faith, rejoicing in the beauties of nature, in the goodness of those you love, in the testimony which you carry in your heart concerning things divine.” 

“Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great purpose in heart.”

“Get on your knees and pray, then get on your feet and work.” 

Saturday, May 19, 2012

By small and simple


The Lens

    So a couple winters ago Mom and some of the grandkids went sledding and Ammon went down the hill and bit it!!! His glasses went flying off his sled and popped one of his lenes right off. Everyone looked forever and they could not find the lens. So they all gave up and Jenn went home not too happy thinking about how expensive it was going to be to buy another lens.

     I know Mom you are fully aware of what happens next with this story... but I don't think you know my side yet. So after a while I went over to Scotty's house and I get a phone call.... It was Mom and she said she had been praying that there could be a miracle and somehow she could find the lens. She asked me to come home and help her look, because she knew she would be able to find it with the Lords help. To my shame I started laughing and said, "Mom there is no way on earth you are going to find that lens in the snow... I know you prayed but sometimes Heavenly Father doesn't answer prayers the way we want!" Mom got a bit upset and said, "Well we will see about that."
    About 30 minutes later I was feeling pretty awful for not helping Mom and I get another phone call... It was Mom! This is what she said, "Mamie I went to the hill and started to look and I put my hand down and there was Ammon's lens....................."
     I almost passed out... I was shocked. I felt like the most faithless stupid person on earth. Mom taught me something incredible that day... She didn't rub it in my face that she found it, she just simply said, "It's incredible how Heavenly Father even cares about something as small as a lens." I felt the spirit so strong! I gained a stronger testimony that day. I know with all my heart that "with the Lord nothing is impossible" and by small things like saying a prayer and finding a lens GREAT things come to pass!!! I will always remember how I felt from this little miracle!

Friday, May 18, 2012

Stand Alone

"May we ever be courageous 
and prepare to stand for what we believe...
And if we must stand alone in the process
May we do so courageously...
strengthened by the knowledge that in reality we are NEVER ALONE

I love you both,

Thursday, May 17, 2012

I will rest in you

This takes place when Tanna was very sick and we were living together upstairs... I don't know if you remember how I felt seeing Tanna go through what you did. I think I had constant tears that I was holding back. I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking she might not be alive- so I would have to go check to see if she was still breathing. I was so terrified that one day
I would find her on the floor... gone. 
One day I was home alone... Dad was at work and Mom and Tanna were at the doctor and I was sitting on my bed, tears pouring down my face... I was extremely angry! Anger at everyone, the doctors for not fixing you, and the most awful part is I was so mad at Heavenly Father. WHY, why would he do this to Tanna? I remember just yelling and pleading with him not to take her. I was so angry. I finally calmed down and I felt like everything in life was dark. I felt like there was no way I could go another day seeing Tanna suffer (I am guessing you both felt feelings ten times worse). I opened my scriptures and read the first scripture that I saw.....

3 Nephi 27: 28-29
 28And now I ago unto the Father. And verily I say unto you, whatsoever things ye shall ask the Father in my name shall be given unto you.

 29Therefore, aask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for he that asketh, receiveth; and unto him that knocketh, it shall be opened.

I dropped to my knees and first asked him to forgive me for being so fearful and full of doubt. And to forgive me for being angry at him. Then I asked Heavenly Father if he would heal Tanna and let her live....

After my prayer I started to play church music and I came to this song....

While listening to this song I knew Tanna was going to be okay.... I didn't know how but I finally felt rest... I finally felt peace. Now every time I think of this or hear this song I think of Tanna and I think of our Heavenly Father that is so merciful and answers even the most doubtful persons prayers. 

Christmas time has become a very special time of year me. December 24th marks the day of one of my favorite and most memorible days.... When Dad and I brought Tanna home from the hospital in Utah. Again my Heavenly Father answered my prayers and prayers of everyone. What a feeling it was to see Tanna walk in Garrett's house. Tanna was healed and for the rest of my life I have no right to complain about anything..... I obviously am not doing very good at the no complaining which makes me even more grateful for the Atonement and my Savior! I love you- Tonight I am going to think of my Savior and remember the blessing he has blessed me with- maybe you both could write down what you are most grateful for... if you want! I have a testimony that prayers are heard and I love knowing that we have a God of MIRACLES. I love you both.


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Heavenly Father Loves Me

(This is a picture I took at one of our favorite parks and it reminded me of how much our Heavenly Father must really love us!)

I was feeling so grateful for our Heavenly Fathers creations. This world is absolutely beautiful and it is because he loves us so much! Today I challenge both of you to set time aside and really appreciate the beauty outside or anywhere. And if you have time listen to this song later tonight again and write your feeling about the gifts Heavenly Father left on this earth for us to see and feel his love!

Love you both,

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Just a moment

Yesterday at Cash's doctors appointment I had a really cool experience. Cash had to get 3 shots. As he was getting his shots he didn't cry but he was getting really nervous. He started to make painful sounds. I was holding him close and Belle was standing right by him... As Cash started to panic Belle started singing "Baby Mine" from Dumbo. She had tears in her eyes and she just kept singing "Baby mine don't you cry, Baby mine dry your eyes..." She sang this over and over and I could tell she just wanted to take Cash far away where no one could touch him.

As I held little cash and could feel how terrified he was and then seeing little Belle trying to protect her little brother... I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with gratitude for the love they have for each other. It was the most precious moment I have yet to see as a mother. Motherhood as you both know has not been a piece of cake for me! I have had my fair share of struggles with patience and feeling at the end of my rope a lot! But seeing what I saw today gave me an extra boost of "something is going right"!

My sweet crazy Belle made me realize that a lot of stuff I get mad over does not matter. Yes I am exhausted and feeling at a loss of what to do with them at times, but I know that all that matters is LOVE and that we have each other... exhausted or not! Yelling or biting! Pulling hair or slapping mom/dad's faces.... it won't last.... but how we feel about each other will.

Monday, May 14, 2012

I love you more each year!!


It doesn't matter what we do...
Go out or take a walk.
It doesn't matter if we're quiet
Or sit around and talk.

I know that I neglect to say
The things you'd like to hear...
That's why I chose this birthday wish
To make my feelings clear.

You are my life, 'mid calm or strife,
You are "the man"--- you see.
My days are spent in warm content
When you are close to me.

As we grow older each new day,
Our life just gets more dear...
You're just "my big", (believe you me)
I love you more each year!


I found this poem on your computer and I fell in love with it! I really have been thinking about marriage and how grateful I am for both of your examples. Yes you both fight... hahah running away to the gas station Mom and having me pick you up! And Dad frantically searching for you until he found you in the basement! Hahah but I have seen my whole life your marriage and I knew thats what I wanted! I love how I can see the love you have for one another and how it really does grows more and more! I loved this poem because I knew what Mom wrote was true and she really meant it! and I love reading, hearing, accidentally finding a poem, etc that shares how much you love each other... despite the hard times. I love you both and I am grateful for you unfailing love for each other. Watching this little video reminded me of you both... You both always show "how"  you love each other (flowers all the time, notes, laughter, teasing, signs, dates, temple nights...etc.)... and how you both show such Christlike love...

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day

                                                  "All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother."
                                                                                            -Abraham Lincoln- 

(At the bottom right of the video there is a box looking thing... push it and the video will go big)

I love you Mom!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Good things to come


I think this video hits close to home for me... and I know you both know why. I have felt like the last 5 years of my marriage have been just like this families. With all our emergency room visits, all of our cars braking down on the side of the road... two times with all our earthly possessions, and who knows how many without them, countless bills that we had no idea how we could pay them, our scare with Cash, etc. As I have watched Monkey walk away in the rear view mirror of our car trying to find something or someone to help I am reminded of the overwhelming feeling of worry and helplessness. As I think of the things my friends and family and people I don't even know and the things they have had to go through I don't know how people are still walking. At times I don't know how our family and extended family have kept walking... with the loss of loved ones, health problems, family problems, I don't even have to go on you know. After watching this I know how we all have been able to keep walking.... It is through this gospel....Through Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father that through EVERY circumstance has been there saying, "Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. Help and Happiness are ahead." I know we can get through any hard time together and with the constant help on high.

I love you both

Friday, May 11, 2012

Thou shall not Judge

Ever since well... since I can remember this is a lesson I have always needed to learn. I have met some interesting people in my life and some I would not have even considered making friends with or getting to know. But you both have always taught me to love everyone one no matter what they look like, do, how they act, how they may seem, etc. I know both of you have met and will meet people like this. How important it is to look at others like the Savior would... not matter who they are! I am so grateful you both taught me this through life. Some of my most best friends are those I judged at first. I know how much you love your children, I know how much I love my children, and I KNOW how much Heavenly Father wants us to love ALL his children no matter what because of the love he has for ALL of us!